


Socket To Me

by Rockinmuffin



Series: Jerk Off [3]
Category: The Transformers (IDW Generation One), Transformers - All Media Types
Genre: F/M, Gender-neutral Reader, Just A Little Bit of Swearing, M/M, Other, POV Second Person, Reader-Insert, Sexual Humor, Sexual Relationship Implied, halloween fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-31
Updated: 2016-10-31
Packaged: 2018-08-28 06:19:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 877
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8434870
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rockinmuffin/pseuds/Rockinmuffin
Summary: “We should do a couple's costume!”
“No.”
“Name one reason why not.”
“We’re not a couple,” you reply immediately.
“…Name one more reason why we shouldn’t.”





	

**Author's Note:**

> Requested by an anon on Tumblr. Happy Halloween, robot-frickers.

You jolt out of a dead sleep as the shrill beep of your communicator goes off.  You roll out of bed and stumble across your quarters like a drunk ballerina dancer to answer it.

“Hello,” you rasp as you open the communications line, voice still heavy with sleep.

“Hey,” Whirl’s voice comes through the line.  “Why didn’t you ever tell me that humans celebrate a holiday where you dress up and go door-to-door soliciting bite-sized treats that have no nutritional value?  Because that sounds like its right up my alley!”

You blink slowly.  “This is a secure line meant for emergencies.  How did you get on this frequency?  The only people who should have access are Rodimus, Ultra Magnus, and my superiors back on Earth.”

“Oooh, oooh!  We should do a couple's costume!” he continues, ignoring you.

“No.”

“What?!  Pfffft!”  You flinch at the sharp burst of static that sounds over the line.  “Name one reason why not.”

“We’re not a couple,” you reply immediately.

“…”

There’s a moment of blissful silence on the other line.  Unfortunately, it doesn’t last very long.

“…Name _one more_ reason why we shouldn’t.”

“Sure, okay.”  Not like you have better things to do in the middle of the night cycle like sleeping or anything.  “Even if we _were_ a couple, which would never happen because you’re awful in every way imaginable, we are floating in space, thousands upon thousands of miles away from the planet that celebrates Halloween.  There’s no costumes we could wear within the nearest solar system, let alone on this ship.”

“Oh _really_?”  Whirl’s vocalizer raises in pitch an octave like he knows something you don’t before the communication line cuts off entirely.

Next thing you know, there’s a violent clanging of metal slamming repeatedly against the door to your quarters.

The door swishes open to reveal Whirl; or rather, the backhand of his claw raised to bash your skull in.  You back up just in time to prevent your head from being knocked off your shoulders.

Whirl doesn’t seem too concerned by the fact that he almost murdered you though that comes as no surprise to you.

The light of his optic brightens as he spots you.  Then, slowly, he bends down so that he can stare you in the eyes as he dangles a clear plastic bag pinched between his claw-like fingertips. 

“Tada!” he shouts.

There’s a stock photo on the front of the bag.  You can’t make out any of the details since Whirl is swinging the thing back and forth like the pendulum of the world’s most asshole-ish grandfather clock.  Still, you have a pretty decent idea of what it is.

“You can’t even wrap your hands around your own dick; how in the hell did you manage to get a hold of a Halloween costume in the space-equivalent of bumfuck nowhere?”

“It’s no fun if I just tell you.”  The light of Whirl’s optic fizzles off for a second in what you suspect is meant to be a wink, though it’s possible it’s a blink.  It’s hard to tell with one-eyed robots.  “I have to leave a little mystery about me to keep you interested.”

“The only mystery about you is how you aren’t currently institutionalized.”

“Besides,” he continues.  “It’s not just a costume; it’s a _couple's_  costume!”

You blink slowly.  “…’Kay.”  You reach for the door controls.

Whirl manages to stick his foot in the doorframe just in time to prevent your door from sliding shut.  Instead, it taps the side of his foot harmlessly before opening back up.

“Aww, come on!” he whines, foot still in the doorframe.  “Don’t you at least want to _see_ what kind of costume I picked out?”

“If I say yes will you let me go back to bed?”

“Yeah, probably,” he answers with a shrug.

You heave out a sigh.  “Fine.  Let me see it.”

Whirl takes a step back as he kneels down to drop the bag directly in your hands.  Bracing yourself, you take a deep breath before you look down at the image displaying the outfit in its entirety.

You arch an eyebrow before looking back up to Whirl.  “A plug and an electrical outlet?  _Really_?  This isn’t even a subtle costume for _humans_.”

“I know, isn’t it great?  Let’s try ‘em on.”

“How will you even fit in yours?  You’re ten times too big.”

Whirl waves a claw nonchalantly.  “I’ll just stick it over my interface panel.  Now put yours on.”

You purse your lips.  “I’m not wearing this.”

“Aw, c’mon meat-bag!  Where’s your Halloween spirit?”

You stare up at him point blank, eyes narrowed and mouth set in a firm line.  “I’m not going to wear the robot-equivalent of a vagina on a ship full of giant robots.”

The light of Whirl’s optic dims down to what you can only assume is meant to be a leer.  “What if I let you be the plug, huh?  Would you like that?  Plugging into me?”

“…”

In spite of not having a face, the way Whirl’s looking at you gives you the impression that, if he had eyebrows, they’d be wiggling right now.

“Goodnight Whirl,” you say as you slam your hand on the door controls, sliding it shut before Whirl can block it.

**Author's Note:**

> [ For fic updates, reblogging sin, and the occasional random thought, feel free to hit me up at my tumblr. I'm rocksinmuffin and I am garbage, but, like, the fun kind of garbage. 18+ please.](http://rocksinmuffin.tumblr.com)


End file.
